When you sit down on Thanksgiving Day and dig in to that plate piled high with your traditional holiday favorite dishes, remember that not everyone wants you to enjoy your meal. "Somewhere in America, a family will eat a Thanksgiving dinner the food police would be proud of" — small portions of mashed tofu, soy-bread stuffing, vegetable broth gravy, and "a steaming, gleaming 'tofurky'" — that's congealed soybean extract masquerading as a turkey.
They don't want you eating turkey — in the past, activists claimed to inject antifreeze into over 200 frozen Toms to frighten consumers away. And the Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) says your turkey may come stuffed with salmonella. (If you do buy a turkey, some activists would rather you buy organic — which costs you up to $4.00 more per pound.)
They don't want you eating bread and butter — CSPI has claimed white bread is bad for you. And anti-dairy fanatic Robert Cohen says the Pilgrims killed off American Indians using rancid butter, proclaiming that "our day of giving thanks might very well have been their day of doom."
They don't want you eating corn if it's genetically improved — despite all evidence, the findings of the Environmental Protection Agency, and the European Union's statement that genetically improved foods are probably "even safer than conventional plants and foods," activists claim such corn is dangerous. Even Greenpeace's co-founder disagrees, saying "the campaign of fear now being waged against genetic modification is based largely on fantasy and a complete lack of respect for science and logic." Still, some dubious "farmer's groups" press on with their disinformation campaign.
They don't want you eating potatoes — unless they're the more expensive organic variety. And to CSPI, even some salads are suspect.
They don't want you eating pie for dessert — CSPI says have a muffin instead. If they're angry enough, PETA might throw a pie at you, but even that will be made of tofu.
And they certainly don't want you to have wine with dinner, or a beer while watching the Lions game. In fact, if you're driving you'll be lucky to even get there in time for dinner, with a MADD-endorsed nationwide "mobilization" against drinking and driving this weekend — one that may include roadblocks in many areas — sure to slow things down for responsible drivers.
They may not want you to enjoy your day, but we do — and we'll be away doing the same. As you fill up your plate and sit down to a sumptuous feast tomorrow, together with family and friends to celebrate and give thanks, all of us at the Center For Consumer Freedom wish you a very happy Thanksgiving.