Animal Rights Protest: Lie Down For A While

Capitalizing on the ability of twenty-somethings to remain motionless for prolonged periods of time, a horde of animal rights groups — including People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals and the Farm Animal Reform Movement — are hosting a ‘die-in’ in front of the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) building in Washington, D.C. on Sunday.

This isn’t the first animal-rights die-in staged at the USDA, either. Last year the Center for Consumer Freedom (CCF) foiled an attempt by activists (in coffins, but not in clothes) to spread the sketchy claim that vegetarianism would somehow counteract avian flu. This year’s protest is even cheaper: Instead of shelling out for cardboard coffins, they’re just telling people to show up and fall over.

On the theory that less is more, however, the die-in organizers have a few tips and tricks for those who want to stage their own die-in without having to catch a biodiesel bus to the capital. The advice includes the recommendation that activists lie still for at least five minutes, if not a grueling half-hour of lying down. “Special effects” advice includes help with fake blood, animal costumes, and animal face masks. But acquiring any of these, of course, would undermine the no-cost strategy of “fall over and stay there for a few minutes” protesting.

On the positive side, though, we can report that on Sunday at least one group of annoying animal rightists will be too busy remaining motionless to cause Americans any actual trouble. Chalk it up as a good day.

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