Start Hoarding Christmas Cookies For Next Year

Twinkie taxHopefully you were able to save a few Christmas cookies after Tuesday because, as our senior research analyst J. Justin Wilson explains in the Oklahoman and the Las Vegas Review Journal, you might be carefully counting those essential sugar crystals for next year’s batch. After hearing a year of really bad food proposals, a few of them about sugar will be particularly problematic for those of us that like to test our baking skills come December 25.

Wilson writes about a possible scenario that doesn’t seem too far away:

I will show these tidings of Christmas future, if the activists get their way. Before paying for butter, eggs and sugar to bake with, the cashier will ask, “Where are your sugar ration cards?”

Ration cards, you ask? One writer in U.S. News & World Report speculated a program that set a population limit for sugar in food would be a good idea. Companies would go to Wall Street to buy and sell sugar credits, and individuals would get ration cards.

Once your papers are in order and the cashier registers the ration cards, you will see the register price. It will be a lot higher. The government will pass a “fat tax,” a tax on any ingredient used to bake a cookie. Sugar, butter and chocolate chips will all suffer a significant price hike.

But of course, even if you opt to make a treat that avoids the fat tax, it will only be a matter of time before your whole wheat squares with fruit jelly get hit with a hefty fine as well.

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